Skip to content

Category Archives: Local Noose

No head too big. No head too small.

The Bells of St. Ebenezer

Dark Corner, SC – Not to be outdone by the recent decision of The First Two Square Five Points Calvinist Church to allow the internment of ashes on their property, another local church has jumped on the liturgical bandwagon. St. Ebenezer Community Church and Masonic Lodge added the tolling of bells to their daily rituals. Some […]

South Carolina Currency Tied to the Lottery Ticket Standard

District 14 representative, Mike Pitts (R), has introduced legislation that would mandate the replacement of federal currency with South Carolina lottery tickets. According to Pitts, the adoption of Federal Reserve Notes to replace gold and silver coins was an “unconstitutional substitution.” Pitts makes it clear he is not advocating the return to gold and silver […]

Tony Trout: Man, Reptile or Homosexual

With the massive routing of Thomas Jefferson Warwick III by Joe Dill in the recent election still fresh in the voter’s minds, a very small few are asking who was this white man with the black man’s name, what was that strange symbol on his election signs and how did he end up in the […]

“Smooth Wave” for Superintendent of Education – because nobody wants to vote for that woman, anyway.

GREENVILLE, SC – What started as a controversial campaign of mud-slinging and radical ideas has blossomed into a well-oiled machine that even the likes of Karl Rove would admire (if he were not a closet racist. No, really. He hates closets. He says they’re “full of homosexuals and black people”). Thomas Roosevelt “Smooth Wave” Jefferson’s […]

Senate District 5 Race

GREER – Republican voters throughout the Greenville Netherlands head to the polls to chose a replacement for long-time State Senator Pappy O’Verne (D/R – His Front Porch). The heavy field is made up of reputed Representative Lewis Vaughn, and some other people. In a bid to get her consultants a nicer boat, candidate Kathleen Gresham […]

Dark Corner Methamphetamine Cook-off Challenge

DARK CORNER – The 4th annual Dark Corner Methamphetamine Cook-off Challenge was held at the Blue Ridge Ruritan club last weekend. The popular event attracted over 400 attendees with cooking teams from as far away as Dry Belch, Virginia coming to show their cooking skills and share their secret recipes. The competition was brisk with […]

Thurmond Family Reveals Yet Another Skeleton in Their Woodshed

NEW YORK – When the Reverend Al Sharpton decided to look into his genealogy, he had no idea that he would find out he is a descendant of a slave owned by the late Senator Strom Thurmond (Dixiecrat)’s great-great grandfather. In fact, Sharpton described the revelation as “shocking.” It was probably the most shocking thing […]