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Category Archives: Windbreaking News

Tax Time

You might not remember your anniversary or your spouse’s birthday, but one date is etched in the mind of every American… April 15th.  Over the years Tax Time has come to mean several things. For some it’s the time of year that Uncle Sam gives back part of  the money he took out of your […]

South Carolina Currency Tied to the Lottery Ticket Standard

District 14 representative, Mike Pitts (R), has introduced legislation that would mandate the replacement of federal currency with South Carolina lottery tickets. According to Pitts, the adoption of Federal Reserve Notes to replace gold and silver coins was an “unconstitutional substitution.” Pitts makes it clear he is not advocating the return to gold and silver […]

Um… Can We Get A Refund?

This video (removed from YouTube) should be no surprise to anyone who watched Colin Powell’s presentation to the U.N. on February 5th, 2003 and thought: Is that all we have? Some grainy photographs of a building and a truck and the relayed testimony of one anonymous source? Never mind the fact that the source’s claims […]

Someone from Fox News Finally Tells the Truth

Bowels of Hades – Today is a sad day for all the Fox News viewers who haven’t yet committed suicide. After all, how could anyone watch that ridiculous display of ridiculous ridiculousness day-in and day-out without eventually pulling the plug on life?  A former Fox News employee has brought to light what any non-feces-throwing, opposable […]

Marx: “I told you so.” Atlas shrugged.

If you’ve never read Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand, it’s a fictional (we use the term loosely) account of how government intervention in and control of industry stifled innovation and eventually drove the best and brightest from its throws.  The book also casts social welfare and altruism, in general, in a negative light.  Atlas Shrugged […]

Ruritan Conspiracy

What do you get when you combine a gaggle of over-bearing parents, a hundred-or-so runny-nosed kids and a few single, childless, middle-aged men, who (to this casual observer) would seem to have absolutely no business in a room filled with children but oddly-enough are tolerated?  Answer: A Ruritan Conspiracy. For years, the Dark Corner Recreation […]

US Gov’t Declares War on God

Former Navy chaplain, Gordon Klingenschmitt (yeah, that’s his real name), was recently quoted on a radio show as saying the repeal of DADT (Don’t look At my D[expletive] in the shower Turd-muncher) is a sign that the “government has declared war on God.” He added that there would be a “mass exodus of Christians leaving the […]

Obituary: Speedway, Riverside, 32

LIMA – Riverside Speedway, venerable mainstay of the Upper Reedy Valley social scene was found brutally murdered beside the Cherokee Foothills Parkway this week. She was 32. While police have no suspects in the crime, highly-placed sources at the Krispy-Kreme on Pleasantburg Drive identified serial land-rapist Jim “Asphalt Andy” Anthony as a person of interest. […]

Parking Garages in Downtown Greenville Will Require “Mark of the Beast” for Free Weekend Parking

GREENVILLE – Due to overcrowding and the constant influx of tourists into the metropolitan areas of the upstate, County Council has decided to require citizens who wish to park for free in the parking garages on the weekend to obtain a temporary or permanent mark (the price varies) on their right hands or foreheads. Anyone […]

Earth No Longer Needs Van Halen

It’s official: the world no longer needs Van Halen. After hearing them played on one local radio station anywhere from twenty-five to a million times a day, the Dark Corner News decided to conduct a survey to see whether or not there was anyone who still liked Van Halen. The DCN surveyed the entire Earth’s […]