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Demonstration Reveals Hundreds of Bojosexuals (Not to be confused with homosexuals who eat at Bojangles)

GREENVILLE – Three members of Soulforce Equality Riders, a gay rights group who have been gallivanting all over the country protesting injustices toward homosexuals on Christian college campuses, were arrested and charged with trespassing at Bob Jones University, Wednesday.

Amanda Harris, one of the demonstrators who was arrested, said, “I think this shows the great lengths we’re willing to go through to bring dialogue. We’re willing to stand out here among people who hate us to bring a message of hope.”

“Soulforce, welcome to Greenville, South Carolina. Soulforce, welcome to God’s country,” shouted Billy Ball, a pastor with Faith Baptist Church in Primrose, Ga. “Bob Jones doesn’t hate you. God does,” Ball added.

Others held signs that read “Sodomy is Sin” and “Three Gay Rights. 1. AIDS. 2. Hell. 3. Salvation.” In that order.

“A person has to be lost before they are saved,” Ball said. “That’s really the only message we’re here to send. Well, that and don’t forget Homecoming at Faith Baptist the 29th of this month. Ladies wear a white flower and men wear a red one.” That way you can tell them apart.

“Any hateful name calling does not represent BJU’s scriptural response,” Bob Jones University President, Stephen Jones, wrote. The University also provided the demonstrators with a letter detailing their stance on homosexuality and a boxed lunch.

Members of Aquaqueen Soulforce (number two in the trunk, G.) complained that Bob Jones was most virile in their response to the organization. However, we at the DCN find this accusation to be unfair. Sure, the atmosphere at the demonstration was one of hatred and ridicule, but not by the University. BJU merely expressed their beliefs in a letter and in turn gave them all a free lunch. Also, it was not the University who was demonstrating outside the Soulglow headquarters, now was it? But on the other hand, if the situation were reversed, we seriously doubt that the Soulforce Equality Riders would have their sniper team zeroed in on the Bob Jones University demonstrators quite the way the BJUST was zeroed in on them. Maybe everyone wasn’t supposed to know that last part…

But isn’t it a little much to ask BJU to condone homosexuality? Let’s pretend for a minute that all mankind was created equal and born of sin, and that the only sin is disobedience to God (a little far-fetched, but humor us). Now we’ve created a level playing field for both notorious hetero and homosexuals. We’re still dealing with an organization who punishes it’s students for improper hair-length, discourages women from wearing pants, lets students of different races date only when both sets of parents sign a waiver, has a butt load of valuable art purchased from the Jews by the Nazis at a heavily discounted rate, and has it’s own highly trained sniper team. Why don’t we try to start up a strip club on campus, or a brothel too while we’re at it. Hey, I know! Why don’t we try to get them to let black people into their school (and third-worlders don’t count).

Besides, people have been sending their kids to BJ to keep them away from blacks and gays for years. You’re sort of leaving those nice folks out in the cold black gayness if you open the floodgates. If it makes it easier, just think of BJU as any other gated community like the Cliff’s, Hunter’s Landing, or Heaven. Some people get in. Blacks and gays do not.

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