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Carolina Fan Shoots Clemson Fan Just to Watch Him Die

LEXINGTON,SC – James Walter “Quick Draw” Quick, 42, was charged with murder in the shooting of Richard Allen Johnson, 43. According to a preliminary autopsy report by the Lexington County Coroner, Dr. R. Quincy, M.E., the bullet barely grazed Johnson’s arm, but his blood-alcohol level was so high that he bled to death in seconds.

The two had bet $20 on the game, with Quick taking South Carolina, Lexington County Sheriff James Metts said. They drank beer all afternoon and watched the game Saturday at Johnson’s home. They began arguing about the bet after the game.

Metts said Quick went to his car, got the rifle he normally uses for hunting, fishing, border control, stray dogs, and black panthers, then yelled “There Can Be Only One!” and fired one shot, almost missing Johnson. Deputy Bernard P. Fife, L.D. arrested Quick and took him to jail, where Quick immediately escaped. A source, who wishes to remain nameless told us that Quick waited for Deputy Fife to pass out from drinking out of the water cooler that our source had spiked with Wild Turkey, then Quick reached through the bars, grabbed the key and let himself out and got away on our source’s only means of transportation.

Lexington county deputies rearrested Quick when they found him at Five-Points riding a cow and yelling that he was Duncan McCloud of the Clan McCloud.

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