Skip to content

Chavez Quits

FREEMONT, TX – It seems as if Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez might have to eat his own words (which probably taste a little like Chex Mix sprinkled with ranch dressing mix and sulfur). Yesterday, a spokesperson for Chavez announced that the Venezuelan president would be leaving his post for a higher-paying landscaping job in Freemont, Texas.

Many of you will rememeber Hugo Chavez from the late seventies as Herve “Tattoo” Villichaize’s stunt double in the television series Fantasy Island. After the show was cancelled, Chavez was reduced to a life of poverty from which he narrowly escaped by accepting the lowly paying post of Venezuelan President. With rising cocaine costs and increased child-support payments tapping his Federal Reserve, Chavez has been forced to follow in the footsteps of former Mexican President, Vicente Fox, and seek employment in the U.S.

Chavez and Fox plan to use their earnings to finance a run for the American Presidency in 2008. Together, they promise to run a campaign built around “experience, family values, and anti-Satanism – unlike the current administration.

President Bush could not be reached for comment because he fell into the creek on number sixteen at the Cliff’s of Glassy, but a Secret Service Agent left us with this statement: “[expetive] off!”


  1. Howdy! I realize this is sort of off-topic but I needed to ask.
    Does managing a well-established website such as yours require
    a massive amount work? I am completely new to writing a blog however I do write in
    my diary every day. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my experience and thoughts
    online. Please let me know if you have any recommendations
    or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

    Friday, April 4, 2014 at 5:56 am | Permalink
  2. uncle romulus wrote:

    In the even that this could be a genuine message, I apologize for taking so long to respond to it. I tend to write for the DCN in sporadic bursts of insanity until I exhaust myself and move on to other things. It’s sort of like holding the “sprint” button on FIFA for the entire game until your player dies of a heart attack in the sixty-fifth minute.

    I do not consider my site as “well-established” but given that I wrote my first article for it over ten years ago, I guess in that respect it is. If you write in your diary every day then most of your work is complete for blogging. I write partly for the therapeutic aspect but primarily because I enjoy it. I do go for extended periods of time without writing but that has to do with laziness and preoccupation with other things.

    To wrap things up: (as with all things in life) try to spend most of you time doing things you enjoy, try to find enjoyment in things you must do that you don’t particularly enjoy, and, whether or not you end up in prison as a result of your engagement in enjoying life, you’ll be successful at blogging.

    Thanks for your correspondence and good luck with your blog!


    Saturday, December 20, 2014 at 7:29 am | Permalink

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *