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Louisiana Senator Gets Free Pass Until Judgement Day

D of C -What do David Vitter, R-Louisiana and Hugh Grant have in common? If you guessed a constant facial expression of stupidity, then you would also be correct. It seems as though Senator Vitter’s last visit to the “D.C. Madam” had a not so happy ending. How would you feel if your cell phone number appeared on the phone record of one of the largest escort services in the country? If you said pretty [expletive] stupid, then give yourself two points.

As always, when a politician gets himself in an awkward and embarrassing situation, several things begin to happen. You should try them for yourself. First of all, you deny it, unless of course you’re caught red-handed (skip ahead to step 2).

Secondly, you hide somewhere to buy yourself some time.

Next, you defer to a higher power (this is my favorite step because it works almost every time). You apologize and grovel at the feet of your constituents. You get on television with your wife and kids (cue the tears) and talk about how you were wrong, but you asked God for forgiveness and everything is all squared away now.

Finally, if you’re lucky, some other politician (who is more than likely guilty of the same thing you’re doing) will come to your defense for his own personal gain, of course. Let’s review:

1. Senator Vitter gets caught slippin’. Can’t deny that.

2. Senator Vitter is reported missing from Capitol Hill.

3. Senator Vitter’s words: “This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible… I asked for and received forgiveness from God and from my wife in confession and marriage counseling.” Can’t touch that. Free pass.

4. “Obviously, he has a whole lot of remorse and wants to put this behind him. He seems to be handling it in a very responsible way. He is saying he was wrong. He made terrible mistakes. He is not trying to diminish the problem,” – Senator Jim DeMint, R-South Carolina.

Guess whose phone number is most likely to appear on the list next? Give yourself another point.

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