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Democrats Just as Dumb as Republicans

WASHINGTON – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s pick to head the Intelligence Committee fell victim to the administration’s No Democratic Nominee for Heading the Intelligence Committee Left Behind program. Rep. Silvestre Reyes of Texas failed a quiz of basic questions about al Qaeda and Hezbollah, two of the major terrorist organizations that are financed by every one of those mall vendors who sell shoddy jewelry, hand lotion, and fake portraits of famous people.

When asked by CQ National Security Editor Jeff Stein whether al Qaeda is Sunni or Shiite, Reyes answered “they are probably both,” then sweatily added “Predominantly – probably Shiite… and that’s my final answer.” Wrong. Al Qaeda was founded by Osama bin Laden as a Sunni organization, and he hates the shiite out of Shiites.

Reyes failed to answer several questions about Hezbollah, a Shiite group based in Southern Lebanon. When asked whether or not Hezbollah had known ties to Iran, Reyes responded, “[expletive] yeah it was a tragedy. Could you repeat the question?” He followed by adding, “I was down at the gas station, and some fool stepped on my sneakers, man.”

In an interview with CNN, Stein said he was “amazed” by Reyes’ lack of basic information about al Qaeda and Hezbollah.

“If you’re the baseball commissioner and you don’t know the difference between the Yankees and the Red Sox, you don’t know baseball,” Stein said. “I mean come on. Hasn’t he ever watched the Daily Show? I know most people who watch Fox News and MSNBC are confused and misinformed, but who watches that crap anymore. I thought everyone watched the Daily Show or at least, the Colbert Report to get news.”

Stein believes that Reyes lack of knowledge could dramatically decrease Reyes’ ability to provide effective oversight of the intelligence community. Stein went on to say that Reyes is “not a stupid man, he’s hardly a man at all… ha hah hah. Anyone watch Black Adder? Didn’t think so. If you don’t have the basics, how do you effectively question the administration?” he asked. “It’s a trick question because anyone who questions the administration usually gets run out on a rail.”

Stein said Reyes is only one of many members of the House Intelligence Committee who lacks basic knowledge about terrorist organizations. “It kind of disgusts you, because these guys are supposed to be tending your knitting,” Stein said. “Most people are rightfully appalled.”

Pelosi picked Reyes from the bottom of the barrel along with Californian Rep. Jane Harman (no relation to Hayne Jarman), who had been the Intelligence Committee’s ranking member, and Rep. Alcee Hastings of Florida, who had been impeached as a federal judge after refusing to spell his first name correctly even after being bribed.

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