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Someone from Fox News Finally Tells the Truth

Bowels of Hades – Today is a sad day for all the Fox News viewers who haven’t yet committed suicide. After all, how could anyone watch that ridiculous display of ridiculous ridiculousness day-in and day-out without eventually pulling the plug on life?  A former Fox News employee has brought to light what any non-feces-throwing, opposable thumb-possessing human being has known for years – Fox News makes up stuff.

“I don’t think people would believe it’s as concocted as it is; that stuff is just made up,” the insider told Media Matters.

The insider, who will now be referred to as, Thank You Jesus, went on to say that “it is their M.O. to undermine the administration and to undermine Democrats” – as if the Democrats needed any help in undermining themselves. “They’re a propaganda outfit but they call themselves news.”

By now most of you are thinking to yourselves: what’s the big deal?  Fox has a Republican slant, MSNBC has a Democrat slant, and CNN… well, they’re kind of like the taint in all of this mess (and we all know that the taint is a harbinger of infestation).  So who cares if some disgruntled former employee wants to point out the obvious bias that has made the Fox News Network so popular among the intolerant and perpetually angry? But bias (not to be confused with butt bias) isn’t really what this is all about.  We’re talking about complete fabrication, people.  For example:

MSNBC: CIA Agent Reports – No Link Between Sadaam Hussein and Al Qaeda

CNN: CIA Agent Reports – Link Between Sadaam and Al Qaeda Called Into Question

FOX: Sadaam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden Seen Waterskiing Together at Lake Hartwell

Even the DCN makes up less of our stories than Fox News and we’re serious about that claim. The source went on to explain the process from the indoctrination period to the production of a full-fledged Nazi zombie (thanks, CoD):

“When I first got there back in the day, and I don’t know how they indoctrinate people now, but back in the day when they were “training” you, as it were, they would say, ‘Here’s how we’re different.’ They’d say if there is an execution of a condemned man at midnight and there are all the live truck outside the prison and all the lives shots.  CNN would go, ‘Yes, tonight John Jackson, 25 of Mississippi, is going to die by lethal injection for the murder of two girls.’ MSNBC  would say the same thing.”

“We would come out and say, ‘Tonight, John Jackson who kidnapped an innocent two year old, raped her, sawed her head off and threw it in the school yard, is going to get the punishment that a jury of his peers thought he should get.’ And they say that’s the way we do it here. And you’re going , alright, it’s a bit of an extreme example but it’s something to think about. It’s not unreasonable.

“When you first get in they tell you we’re a bit of a counterpart to the screaming left wing lib media. So automatically you have to buy into the idea that the other media is howling left-wing. Don’t even start arguing that or you won’t even last your first day.

For the first few years it was let’s take the conservative take on things. And then after a few years it evolved into, well it’s not just the conservative take on things, we’re going to take the Republican take on things which is not necessarily in lock step with the conservative point of view.

“And then two, three, five years into that it was, we’re taking the Bush line on things, which was different than the GOP. We were a Stalin-esque mouthpiece.  It was just what Bush says goes on our channel. And by that point it was just totally dangerous.  Hopefully most people understand how dangerous it is for a media outfit to be a straight, unfiltered mouthpiece for an unchecked president.”

“My internal compass was to think like an intolerant meathead,” the source explains. “You could never error on the side of not being intolerant enough.” – courtesy of Media Matters

While we really like the slogan – You can never error on the side of not being intolerant enough – we do not think it befits a major news organization that claims to be fair and balanced.

The DCN encourages all of our readers to check out the full interview by clicking one of the Media Matters links above.

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